


Dancing Around You

by CongressIsAliens



Series: The World Is Shit, Let’s Write Fic [7]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: ASL, Alternate Universe - High School, Dancing, Fluff, High School Teacher AU, Human Perry the Platypus (Phineas and Ferb), Idiots in Love, Kissing, M/M, Sign Language, Slow Burn, Teaching, mute character, the Idiots in Love tag applies in spades, to a certain extent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:06:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23675086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CongressIsAliens/pseuds/CongressIsAliens
Summary: Perry Fletcher is the ASL teacher at Danville High.Heinz Doofenshmirtz teaches freshman and IB biology.Before this year, neither of them even knew each other.Now complete (with bonus content!)
Relationships: Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus
Series: The World Is Shit, Let’s Write Fic [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1668385
Comments: 81
Kudos: 354





	1. The First Day

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Not Really Qualified to Teach](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4841150) by [GrayceAdamsArchive](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrayceAdamsArchive/pseuds/GrayceAdamsArchive). 



> A few things:
> 
> Danville High runs on an A/B day schedule in this fic, which means students go to blocks 1-4 on A days, and blocks 5-8 on B days. A and B days alternate and all that jazz. 
> 
> Perry is permanently mute in this fic.
> 
> Also, there's no evil science or OWCA in this. It's just Perry and Doof being awkward gay teachers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 04/27/2020 for coherence at the end of the chapter

The sun shines through somewhat dusty blinds onto a sleeping man, bathing him in golden September sun. 

His phone on the bedside table buzzes and sings its song, a cheerful yet menial jazz tune. 

The man sleepily bats at his phone, trying to shut it up. 

Eventually the music stops, and he drops his hand. 

Ten seconds later, he sits bolt upright, attempts to get out of bed, gets his legs caught up in the blanket, and falls to the floor. 

He sighs and gets up, tossing the blankets back on his bed. He puts on his glasses and shuffles his way into the kitchen in search of coffee, still blinking the sleep from his eyes. 

It’s the first day of a new school year, and Perry Fletcher is ready.

Mostly. He still needs a shower. 

Thirty minutes later, he’s locking the door to his apartment and carrying his bag down to the parking garage. 

He’s already been at the school for a week, setting up his classroom, making lesson plans and seating charts, and attending staff meetings. 

There’s also some students that have been at school already, too. His window overlooks the football field, so he’s seen the football teams leaving when he arrives, and arriving when he leaves. The rest of the time, the marching band is outside.

Some days, he’d prop his window open and listen. They sound pretty good, although he has no idea what to listen for. 

Today, however, is the first day of classes. 

Perry slings his bag over his shoulder and pulls on his helmet. 

He’s pretty sure he’s the only teacher in the entire Danville public school system who rides a motorcycle to school. 

Which doesn’t bother him. It’s good to be the cool teacher, and with his teal hair, motorbike, and pierced ear, he pulls it off naturally. (Not to say that he isn't professional. In fact, ninety percent of his work outfits include a tie.) He can get away with being stricter in class, and still maintain a good class atmosphere. 

It’s all about the balance, really.

Perry parks his motorcycle at the far end of the staff lot. He takes off his helmet, pushes his glasses up on his nose, and heads into the school. 

The construction finished over the summer, and so the math and business department has a new wing. The offices and the small gym got an overhaul as well. 

Perry walks down several hallways and up a staircase before he reaches his classroom. He unlocks the door and steps in. 

Everything is just how he left it on Friday afternoon. 

Perry grins. It’s good to be back, really. He puts his helmet under his desk, then pulls his laptop out of his bag and plugs it into the projector cable.

He picks up a marker and writes on the board, in a neat print, _Tip of the Day: Always check the tip of the day!_

* * *

The bell rings, ending his third block class. 

All in all, it’s been a pretty good day so far. He pulls his lunchbox out from underneath his desk and walks out of his classroom to go eat with his friend Carla Rutger, who teaches Spanish, down the hall. 

He pauses, his hand on the doorknob. Carla retired last year. He went to her retirement party. She said she’d be back occasionally to substitute, but nobody has a sub on the first day. 

Like it or not, Perry needs to find someone to eat with, or he’ll go crazy. The mix of his profession and his mutism don’t lend themselves well to friendship, so other than a few college friends, he doesn’t really have anyone to talk to outside of Danville High. 

Well, his brother lives in Danville, and he has Sunday dinner with his family every week, but other than that? Not a whole lot of people. 

Perry briefly considers heading to the staff lounge, but shoots that idea down. There’s only three people in the school who know sign, and none of them will be there.

The head secretary will be at her desk, the SpEd teacher will have her hands full, and Mr. Pandamiano, the band teacher, will be busy.

There really isn’t a point in going down to the staff room if he can’t communicate with anyone there. It’ll be just more miserable.

Perry sighs and heads back to his desk, resigning himself to a year of loneliness. 

Wait, wasn’t there someone else who was signing at the last all-staff meeting?

The man had been signing sarcastically to himself. Obviously, he hadn’t realized Perry was watching. At some points, Perry had even almost burst into laughter at the man’s odd introspections. 

Maybe he should go introduce himself. He vaguely remembers the man’s name as being Doofen...something. Doofenshmidt? No, Doofenshmirtz. Like the mayor. And he teaches...chemistry. Biology. Something in that realm. 

Perry majored in education, with a minor in ASL for kicks. He doesn’t really do science. 

He briefly checks the lunch schedule to find that Mr. Doofenshmirtz has second lunch. Perfect.

He’ll at least go introduce himself. 

* * *

Perry waves goodbye to Heinz and leaves the classroom. 

The door closes behind him, and Perry grins. 

That went a _lot_ better than he could have ever expected. Now he has a new friend to eat lunch with.

A new friend that had made him laugh harder than he had in a long time. Yeah, Perry thinks he likes this guy. 

Mr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, teacher of both freshman and IB biology. He’s from Drusselstien, but immigrated to America when he was sixteen. He has a daughter. His brother is the mayor. 

Somehow, from just a twenty minute conversation where both parties spoke in a somewhat different language, they became friends.

Perry walks back up to his classroom and unlocks the door, then props it open. 

He turns on the projector and puts the seating chart under the doc camera. He writes some instructions on the board, readying himself for the last block of the day.

The bell rings, signaling the end of lunch. Perry has his ASL 2 class this block- at least he doesn’t have to go through the painstaking process of calling roll through a presentation. 

Thank god for the sign-in sheet system. He uses that as much as possible. It takes the ASL 1 kids a bit to get, but it’s really for the best. 

Honestly, at least three quarters of the weird systems in his classroom are born of necessity. As a teacher who can’t talk, there are a lot of things that need to be modified.

The tardy bell rings. A few latecomers straggle in, clutching schedules and spouting excuses. Perry lets them slide. It's the first day, there's a whole new wing of the school to get lost in, it's all good. 

He picks up the clipboard with the sign-in page. A quick count reveals that a few students forgot how to sign in over summer, so he gets everyone's attention and 'calls out' the students who forgot.

Perry groans inwardly when he reaches a particularly lengthy name. _V-A-N-E-S-S-A-D-O-O-F-E-N-S-C-H-M-I-R-T-Z._

Wait a minute. Doofenshmirtz?

Heinz had mentioned that he had a daughter. Apparently, this daughter is taking his ASL 2 class. 

Now that he looks up, he remembers her from last year. She was among the top of her class, although she didn't seem inclined to want to talk to anyone. 

It seems like this is going to be an interesting year. 

But Perry’s looking forwards to it.


	2. Homecoming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, this is where the title mostly came from.

It’s mid-October, which can only mean one thing at Danville High. 

No, not the mid-quarter grades slump. Not the leaves turning red and gold outside, scattering their colors all over the courtyard. Not even the mini-pumpkins showing up on every secretary’s desk. 

Mid-October at Danville High means homecoming.

Students and teachers alike will dress up for spirit week and attend the pep rally. The kids will vote for homecoming court. The clubs, the band, the cheer team will march down Main Street for the parade. 

At the game, the crowd will be packed tight in the stands. The cheerleaders will do their best stunts, the band will have a special pre-game show, the dance team will dance to Hey Baby. 

And on Saturday night, there will be the Homecoming dance. 

Normally, that would just be a night Perry stays in and binge-watches his soaps. 

This year, he drew the metaphorical short straw. He’s being forced to chaperone the dance. 

When he shares this sentiment to Heinz on Monday, the other man laughs. 

“Ouch. I’ve been asked to do it for the fifth year in a row. I think, after this year, I’m going to start politely declining.”

_ Wait. Five years in a row? This is my first time. You must be really unlucky.  _ Perry signs. 

“Hey, at least this year I’ll have company.”

_ True. Do you go to the game? _

“What, the homecoming game? Nah. I don’t really go to any sports stuff.”

_ Yeah, I don’t either. Don’t really see the point. I do catch the parade, though. _

“Yeah, the parade is nice.” He trails off. “It’s a shame, really,” Heinz murmurs thoughtfully. “I’ll miss the Troubled Days marathon.”

Perry’s eyebrows shoot up.  _ You watch Troubled Days too? _

“Yeah, I do. Wait, I said that out loud?”

_ You did. And in case you’re wondering, Katilyn and Sam all the way.  _

“No way. Kaitlyn and Levi is the only valid romance. Even if Levi’s dead!”

* * *

The night of the dance arrives much faster than Perry’s ready for, and now he’s completely unprepared. He doesn’t even know what to wear. 

Really, he’s just chaperoning. It’s not like he’s actually worried about the dance. 

Except this will be the first time Perry’s seen Heinz outside of their daily lunches, and he ought to make a good impression. 

...he still doesn’t know what to wear. He flops down on his bed and pulls out his phone to text Carla. She’ll know, she taught for almost forty years at DHS. 

[Me: i’m chaperoning homecoming what do I wear]

[Carla Rutger: You didn’t get an email about it?]

Perry slaps his forehead.  _ Mein gott _ , he’s an idiot. 

And he’s been spending far too much time around Heinz, if he’s adopting some of his Drusselstenian German into his vocabulary. 

Perry checks his email, and sure enough, everything he needs to know is there. 

His phone goes off again. 

[Carla Rutger: Did you forget about your email?]

[Me: yes]

[Carla Rutger: That’s the Perry I know.]

[Carla Rutger: Say, now that I’m gone, who are you eating lunch with?]

[Me: Heinz]

[Me: sorry, Mr. Doofenshmirtz]

[Me: he teaches bio and ib bio]

[Me: also he’s chaperoning homecoming with me]

[Me: and now i’m gonna be late]

[Me: talk to you later]

[Carla Rutger: Have fun!]

[Me: lmao I'll try]

* * *

Perry pulls into the parking lot just a few seconds ahead of Heinz. As he takes off his helmet, Heinz calls out to him. 

“I didn’t know you rode a  _ motorbike _ , Perry!”

Perry runs a hand through his hair, grinning.  _ There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me, Heinz _ , he signs. 

“Then I guess I’ll just have to find them out. C’mon, we’re going to be late.”

They leave their coats and Perry’s helmet in the staff area (the kitchens of the cafeteria). Perry finally gets a look at what Heinz is wearing- khakis, a light green dress shirt, and a purple tie. 

He looks good.

Perry himself is wearing black slacks, a white dress shirt, and an orange tie with a silver clip. 

Somebody, probably the band director, has left a box of earplugs on the table. Both of them take a pair and put them in. The dance is going to start soon. 

If Perry remembers anything from the one dance he attended in high school (senior prom, and he had gone stag), it’s that they’re loud. 

It’s times like these that he’s glad he knows sign language. He and Heinz can have intelligible conversation without having to yell. 

The night passes smoothly. Other than the noise, the flashing lights from the DJ’s booth, and the smell, there really isn’t much bad about the dance. 

There really isn’t much for the teachers to do. Mostly, they stand there to provide a semblance of authority, and to keep anybody from spiking the punch. 

Heinz and Perry have been standing against a side wall, out of the way and signing back and forth the whole night. 

When a particularly catchy song comes on, Perry starts to dance. Heinz joins in soon after, remarking on how long it’s been since he’s danced. 

When the DJ calls for a slow dance, Perry doesn’t hesitate to offer his hand. 

Heinz takes it only a second later, and they dance.

It’s weird, and awkward, and Perry’s face feels like it’s about to burst into flames, but it’s...good?

They spend the rest of the night conversing and dancing. Once the event is over and the lights come up, they spend some time helping to take down balloons and streamers.

In the parking lot, before they go their separate ways, Heinz hugs Perry. 

Perry holds onto that feeling the whole way home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another fun fact: I have never been to homecoming. It always falls on a band competition day, and I'd rather be there.


	3. A Day in November

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Heinz's perspective :D

Heinz strips off his gloves and throws them in the garbage. “Make sure to seal the bags _tightly_ , people, we don’t want another incident like last year,” he calls out as he turns off the projector. 

The bell rings. Within thirty seconds, all 26 IB biology students have vacated the room, headed to lunch. 

Heinz washes his hands in the sink at his counter and pulls off his dirty lab coat. 

The door opens. Heinz looks over and yes, it’s Perry standing there, a smile on his face. 

Perry’s grin falters when he smells the unmistakable stench of formaldehyde. Heinz laughs, tying his dirty lab coat up in a plastic bag. 

“We had our first dissection of the year last block,” he says as an explanation.

Perry makes a face. _What was it?_ he signs. 

“Frogs.” Heinz pulls a fresh lab coat from a cupboard under his counter. Perry nods in understanding. 

_How many lab coats do you even have?_ Perry signs. 

“Five or six.” Heinz opens the two windows of his classroom, hoping to disperse the smell of preservatives. “On dissection days they tend to get dirty, and they’re rather practical.”

Perry nods. _I’m sorry, but this smell is making me gag. Would you like to come up to my classroom instead?_

“Sure, just let me lock up.”

Is it just him, or is it a lot warmer in here? 

Perry’s gaze of mild amusement follows him as he grabs his lunch bag from his desk, then fumbles with his keys to lock both classroom doors. 

“I don’t think I’ve been to your classroom, actually,” he says, trying to break the awkward silence. 

_It’s not far_ , Perry signs. _Just up the stairs._

When they get to Perry’s classroom, Heinz takes it all in. The posters, Perry’s desk, the variety of things Perry’s put around to help him out in teaching. 

Despite the subject of the class, teaching is still a very verbal profession. As Heinz looks around, he realizes all over again how hard Perry’s worked to get here. 

A ‘tip of the day’ is scrawled in the corner of the board in Perry’s messy handwriting. _Tip of the Day: Don’t forget to floss._

Heinz walks over to the window and looks out. Perry has a decent view of the football field and the trees beyond. “You have a nice view,” he comments. 

_Back in August, I could hear the band out the window when I worked,_ Perry signs. 

“That’s pretty cool,” Heinz says, walking over to Perry’s desk. Perry gestures at a seat in front of the desk and he takes it. 

Both of them eat in silence for a bit. 

Thankfully, Heinz’s sandwich doesn’t have any lingering taste of formaldehyde. 

When neither of them can really think of anything to say, Perry, his eyes twinkling with mischief, suggests they do some of those dumb icebreakers that every teacher does at the beginning of the year. 

Which gets Heinz ranting, mostly about the stupidity of said icebreakers. (They’re always _inane,_ and so unimaginative too. Really, the less said about them, the better.) 

Perry merely watches in bemusement, occasionally interjecting his own opinion. 

“There’s one that I do with my IB bio kids. It’s really the only tolerable one I know. I can’t remember what it’s called, but it’s where you tell the other people something that everyone knows about you, and something almost nobody knows about you.”

 _I don’t think I’ve heard of that one before.._ Perry contemplates something for a second. _I guess something that everyone knows is that I have naturally teal hair._

“Wait, wait, wait,” Heinz interrupts. “It’s natural?”

Perry smiles and rolls up a sleeve. _Look._

Heinz looks. Sure enough, the hair on his arms is the same shade of teal. “Huh. Do go on.”

Perry flushes a bright red. _Something that barely anybody knows is, well…_ He pauses. _I’m gay._

Heinz’s mind short-circuits. Perry likes men. Heinz is a man. He has a chance! (Why is he thinking about that?) “Oh. Wow. Um, thanks for trusting me,” he says. “I should probably tell you too, so. Uh. I’m bi.”

Perry looks up. _Thanks for telling me. So..._ He smiles. _What’s something that everyone knows about you?_

“I don’t know if _everybody_ knows about it, but I show this to my classes every year,” Heinz says, pulling off his lab coat and rolling up his sleeves. 

He pulls a toolkit out of his lunchbox and carefully pops up the panel on his left forearm. 

“My arms are bionic. I developed them myself, actually.”

Perry’s mouth hangs open. _You built your own prosthetic arms?_

Heinz laughs. “I did. It took a while, since they’re so complex. But I did it. You can touch them, if you want.”

Perry’s hand is warm on his. Heinz...could get used to this. 

_Why does it feel so real?_

“I developed my own materials for it. I hold a few patents on the materials, as well as the arm design itself.”

 _How have I never heard of these before? You’re..._ Perry pauses. 

Finally, he just signs _You’re a genius._

Heinz can feel his face heating up. “I am?”

_Who else could design their own arms, as realistic as these? I’m surprised you’re not a full-time inventor._

“I tried that, briefly. Didn’t have a lot of inspiration, it got old. It’s honestly better as a hobby. I enjoy teaching more as a profession. Kind of funny that you’d say that. I always thought that I’d be an inventor, and then I became a teacher.”

_I get that. I always thought that I’d be a gymnast. I only majored in education because I thought it’d be an easy major, and I needed to do some school work when I was on the team. Barely passed my senior year, actually._

“Hold up. You were a gymnast?"

 _I was._ Perry pulls out his phone, taps on a few things, then slides it across the desk to Heinz. 

Heinz looks at the screen. A younger Perry goes through an intricate rings routine, then sticks the landing perfectly. 

(It takes every ounce of self control that Heinz has to not drool all over himself.)

He looks up, dumbfounded. “You did that?”

Perry smiles. _Won quite a few medals, including two Olympic silvers. They’re all in a box somewhere in my apartment._

“You went to the _Olympics._ And you won multiple medals. And you didn’t bother to tell me earlier?”

 _You didn’t ask._

Heinz sighs. Technically, he’s right. And Perry had been pretty surprised when he had shown off his arms, so he’s not the only one with a hidden talent. 

The bell rings. _See you around, genius._

The term of endearment makes Heinz blush. He racks his brain for something to say back.“See you around, gymnast.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: 90% of this fic was written in 1 all-nighter.


	4. Winter Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the only chapter that wasn't at least mostly written in that all-nighter :D

On the last day before winter break, just after the last bell, Vanessa Doofenshmirtz walks into Perry’s classroom. 

“Hey there, Mr. Fletcher. My dad wanted me to give this to you.” She holds out a note, which Perry takes. 

_ Thank you, _ he signs. 

“No problem.” She leaves, letting the door swing shut behind her. 

Perry looks at the note. It’s in Heinz’s familiar scrawling print, and there’s a little doodle of a Christmas tree on it. 

_ Hey there, Perry! _ , the note reads.  _ I wanted to come talk to you in person, but I have to take Vanessa to her mom’s, and you know how bad traffic can get this time of year. Anyway, I wanted to ask you if you’d like to come to my place and watch the Troubled Days post-Christmas marathon together. (I’m still rooting for Levi to come back, BTW). If you’re busy, I understand. Just text me if you can make it. -Heinz _

Perry flips the note over, and Heinz’s phone number is written on the back. 

He smiles and puts Heinz’s number in his phone.

* * *

Winter break passes uneventfully for Perry. He spends a lot of time at his brother’s house, with his family. It’s a nice break. 

He participates in Phineas and Ferb’s snow creations during the day, helps Linda cook dinner in the evening, plays Mario Kart and Smash Bros with Candace and Lawrence at night. 

On Christmas Eve, Perry helps Ferb and Linda bake and decorate batch after batch of cookies. They get powdered sugar all over the kitchen, and they make way too many cookies, but who cares? It’s Christmas. 

Phineas and Ferb go to bed, while Candace, Linda, Lawrence and Perry stay awake and watch classic Christmas movies until the sun starts to peek through the curtains. 

Phineas and Ferb rocket down the stairs at lightspeed as soon as the first rays of sunlight hit the house. The morning quickly turns into a blur of presents and photos. 

Perry is more than happy to bake his signature cinnamon rolls once a reasonable time for breakfast has been reached. 

The rest of the day is spent with the boys building a contraption with their new tools, and everyone else taking a nice nap. 

Perry somehow makes it to the day after Christmas before someone (this time it’s Linda) asking about his love life. 

“Are you seeing anyone, Perry?”

No, no he’s not, and he hasn’t for a few years. Sure, he gets hit on a whole lot (mostly by parents, which just makes him uncomfortable), but once any potential suitor realizes Perry can’t talk, they tend to disappear. 

He had tried a dating app at one point, but rarely had he gotten past the first date. 

Hell, he hasn’t been in a long term relationship since college. 

So he shakes his head. 

“Nobody?”

_ Nobody, _ Perry signs. 

“Not even any best friends that could be potential love interests?”

_ I have friends, but no potential love interests. My life isn’t nearly that exciting.  _

(For some reason, that feels like a lie. Perry shoves that notion to the back of his mind.)

* * *

Four days later Perry walks down the hall of Heinz’s apartment building, carrying a box of cookies. 613, 614, 615, here it is. Apartment 616. 

He knocks on the door. 

From behind the door, he can hear the clanking of metal, then the door flies open to reveal...

“The enemy of the platypus is man!”

A robot man? Perry glances at the door number. Did he get the wrong apartment?

“For the last time, Norm, you greet people with  _ hello _ , not with random documentary facts. Sorry about that.” Heinz enters the doorway, chastising the robot man. He turns to see who’s at the door. “Oh, hello there Perry. You--you look nice.”

Speechless, Perry thrusts the box of cookies into Heinz’s hands. He’s really not dressed fancy- just a t-shirt and jeans- but he supposes Heinz is just being nice.

“Ooh, are these gingerbread?” Perry nods. “Wow, they’re my favorite. Thank you.”

Perry smiles. 

“Well, don’t just stand there. Come on in.” Heinz moves to the side, and Perry enters the apartment. 

“Really, don’t mind Norm. I built him to help out around the place a while back, but he’s really just a nuisance.”

“I am not a nuisance, Dad!”

“And would you quit calling me dad? Go up to Doctor Diminutive.”

Perry smiles.  _ You built your own robot assistant and you think he’s annoying? Can’t you do something about that? _

“I somewhat share him with this evil scientist that lives on the top floor. He doesn’t touch the mechanics, I don’t touch the programming.”

An evil scientist that lives on the top floor of Heinz’s apartment building, who Heinz shares a robot assistant with. 

Well, this is Danville, after all. Stranger things have happened.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Perry and Heinz are sitting on the couch, passing boxes of tissues and snacks back and forth as they watch. At commercial breaks, they sign and talk, practically over each other. With every plot twist, they exchange looks, sometimes barely able to believe their eyes. 

And every so often, Perry finds himself scooting just a bit closer to Heinz. 

“Can you believe that?” Heinz asks at one commercial break, his voice incredulous. 

_ I know, right? Why would Hannah choose Sam when she knows Kaitlyn is going to be mad? _

“No, now Kaitlyn’s going to realize she loves Levi,” Heinz insists. 

_ Levi is dead. _

“He’s not dead, he just took a bus to the next town.”

_ In soap-opera land, that means he’s dead. _

Heinz just sighs and motions for Perry to hand over the popcorn. 

As the night goes on, Perry feels himself growing more and more tired. His eyelids become heavier and heavier, and eventually he just gives in to sleep. 

* * *

Perry wakes up with a strange crick in his neck. He opens his eyes to blurry purple walls. 

It quickly becomes apparent that he’s lying on a couch in somebody else’s living room. 

His glasses are on the coffee table. He picks them up and puts them on. 

That's right, this is Heinz's apartment. Perry vaguely remembers watching the Troubled Days marathon with him, then him falling asleep in the middle of it.

Apparently, Heinz had let him stay until morning, and even tucked him in. A soft smile stretches across Perry’s face at the thought.

Perry runs a hand through his hair. He’s pretty sure it’s sticking up in at least a dozen different directions. 

A look in the bathroom mirror confirms that. Perry does his best to tame it, to no avail. 

Yawning, he follows the smell of coffee into the kitchen. 

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Heinz says. “Want some coffee?”

_ That would be great, thanks.  _

Heinz hands Perry a mug of coffee. “Say, happy New Year’s Eve.”

Perry checks his phone. Sure enough, it’s New Year’s Eve. 

_ Happy New Year’s Eve. Got any resolutions? _

“Not really, no. You?”

_ Not particularly. _

“Say, are you alright? You were pretty sound asleep last night, I didn’t want to wake you up.”

_ I'm okay. Apparently my new meds make me drowsy. It's probably best that you didn't wake me up. _

"Yeah, I wouldn't want you to get in a wreck on your way home. If you don't mind me asking…"

_ Allergy meds. I'm allergic to dust mites, which is possibly the most inconvenient thing in the world.  _

“It must suck going back to your classroom after breaks.”

_ It does. There is one upside to all of it though- my apartment is always really clean. _

“It must be.”

_ Did I miss anything? _

“Miss anything? Oh, in Troubled Days.” Heinz’s grin stretches across his face like the Cheshire Cat. “You did. Levi came back.”

Perry brings his hands up to sign in disbelief, but pauses.  _ Nice joke _ , he signs, a smile creeping onto his face.

“Yeah, I didn’t think I would fool you. I guess I did for a second, though, huh?"

_ Just for a second. _

Heinz moves towards the refrigerator. “Do you want breakfast?”

_ Thanks, but I should really get going.  _

“Okay. I'll, uh, see you later?"

_ See you later. _

Perry pauses by the door.  _ Genius. _

He can hear Heinz’s laugh even as he leaves the apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is also one of the few chapters with no mention of the band.


	5. January Revalations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a short chapter, but it's a doozy.

Perry rounds the corner towards the copy room, humming to himself. It’s a bleak January day, but he’s feeling pretty good. Mrs. Rutger is substituting for one of the Spanish teachers, so they’re going to catch up at lunch today. Maybe he’ll introduce her to Heinz.

He hears Heinz’s voice drift out of the copy room, putting a spring in his step. 

“...A date in the park? Oh, that sounds fun!”

Perry stops dead in his tracks. Heinz continues, but Perry can’t hear it. Something in his chest seizes up. For just a second, his heart stops. He takes a deep, shuddering breath in. Some sort of emotion threatens to spill out his eyes. 

He’s not quite sure whether it’s anger or loss. Maybe an odd mixture of both. 

These copies can wait. He can do them at lunch, Carla will understand. 

Right now, he needs to leave before he does something stupid. 

* * *

[Me: which class are you subbing for?]

[Carla Rutger: Mr. Thompson. Am I going to see you at lunch today?]

[Me: yep! it’ll be nice to catch up again]

[Me: although I do have some copies to do so i’ll be a bit late]

[Me: i’ll leave my door unlocked]

[Me: i assume you still know where my room is?]

[Carla Rutger: It hasn't been that long.]

* * *

“What’s got you in a funk today?” Carla asks once Perry returns with his copies. 

Before Perry can even shrug, much less sit down, she continues. “Is it because you thought Mr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz was flirting with the band teacher in the copy room this morning, when the reality is that Mr. Doofenshmirtz was actually commenting on the new pieces for the romance-themed concert Mr. Pandamiano is planning?”

Perry freezes. His mind runs at a million miles an hour. 

So Heinz wasn’t agreeing to a date. He was commenting on sheet music. 

(Musicians and their song titles. Jeez, name your piece something normal, will you?)

He signs one word.  _ How. _

“Well, your hair doesn’t really lend itself to blending in.” Perry has to agree with her. Teal isn’t exactly inconspicuous. 

“If you had stuck around a minute more,” she continues, “you would have heard Mr. Doofenshmirtz wishing Mr. Pandamiano good luck on getting high schoolers to take songs about romance seriously.”

Perry considers this. She’s right, he should have stuck around and heard the whole story instead of letting his emotions get the better of him. 

(Talk about being hit over the head with an aesop.)

Wait a minute. Those emotions. Where the hell did they come from?  _ How does a misunderstanding about flirting hurt that much?  _ he asks.

“Well, I have a theory. Would you like to hear it?”

Perry takes a swig of his coffee. His third cup of the day. It’s been a long day.  _ Yes, of course.  _

“My humble theory is that you, Mr. Fletcher, have a crush on Mr. Doofenshmirtz.”

Perry barely manages to keep himself from spewing his coffee all over Carla. 

Quickly, he runs through the symptoms of having a crush in his head. 

Wanting to spend time with him, like, a lot? Check. 

A copious amount of blushing whenever he’s around? Check.

Having a nickname for him? Check. 

Having a reaction akin to heartbreak upon catching him not-flirting with someone else? Check. 

Head, meet desk.

He’s infatuated with a fellow teacher, who is also one of his best friends. 

Or, to put it more bluntly, he’s well and truly  _ fucked _ .

Carla’s laugh brings him back to the present. “I assume that based on your reaction, I’m right?”

A ghost of a smile crosses Perry’s face.  _ As always.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now they both know...don't expect them to confess anytime soon, though. 
> 
> (Oh, and Mr. Pandamiano is absolutely the teacher version of Peter :D)


	6. ACT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I took the Pre ACT in February, I was in the classroom right next to the preschool, so I got the absolutely wonderful experience of taking a test next to a _room full of screaming children_.
> 
> It was wonderful.

Perry sits behind a folding table in the gym, fiddling with a pencil. Somebody's doodled a rather impressive geometric shape into the plastic surface, and he consider adding to it. 

It’s the day of the ACT (and, by extension, the Pre-ACT), which means in ten minutes, he’s going to have a flood of sophomores with last names starting with Aa through Ge at his table. 

Thankfully, he isn’t alone. Mrs. Lambert, one of the freshman english teachers, is also at his table. She’s going to be doing the talking, Perry’s going to be checking off the list and handing out the room assignments.

He’s been doing this for years. He’s not allowed to proctor (something about him being unable to speak the test directions), so he does auxiliary work. 

It’s a day of boredom, but at least he’s allowed to do work. Heinz told him that he can’t be on his computer, can’t work on lesson plans, can’t even read a book during the testing. 

Perry had asked what Heinz even did. 

(The answer is draw. Apparently, designing inventions isn't explicitly forbidden, so why not?)

The doors to the gym open. Students flood the room, bringing with them an excess of noise. 

The next forty minutes are a blur of names and faces. Perry checks off name after name on his list, handing out slips of paper with room assignments. 

Once all the students are in their rooms, Perry helps the custodians put away the folding tables, then sets up a chair by the rotunda. 

Administration says he’s there to prevent students from disrupting test sessions. Perry mostly just sits and catches up on grading in the empty halls. Every half-hour, he takes a lap around the upper and lower rotunda, relieving teachers for bathroom breaks. 

The minutes slowly tick by. Perry finishes his grading, then moves to reading his book. A mildly entertaining thriller-romance where a secret agent falls in love with his (male!) evil scientist nemesis. 

It's terribly sappy, but for some odd reason, it's almost impossible to put down.

Finally, 11:15 AM hits. 

The halfway snack break. 

After this, only another hour and a half to go. 

Perry gets up and walks around, having brief sign conversations with a few of his students. 

He ambles up the stairway to the upper rotunda, pausing to have a brief conversation with another person. 

Perry doesn’t see anyone he recognizes up here, so he goes to the railing of the rotunda and looks down at the gathered students. 

He barely notices when a man in a lab coat stands next to him. 

_ Hey there, genius, _ he signs, a soft smile creeping onto his face. 

“Hey yourself, gymnast.”

Perry rolls his eyes.  _ You’re never going to let me live that down, are you. _

“Two words. Olympic medalist.”

_ Olympic medalist who barely passed his senior year. _

“Sheesh, you try to give a guy a compliment every once in a while.” Perry staunchly ignores the way his face heats up at that comment. 

_ Says the man who denies every compliment I give him. _

“Touche,” Heinz grumbles. 

_ Why are you up here anyway? Shouldn’t you be in your usual classroom? _

“I got assigned up here. I swear, the administration of these things makes no sense.”

Perry nods sagely. Standardized tests in general make no sense. 

“Hold this, I’ll be right back.” He hands Perry a black notebook, then walks off towards the bathrooms. 

Perry gazes down into the lower rotunda. A cacophony of voices all blend together to make a wave of warm noise, washing over him. 

Perry only waits about a minute before he gets curious about the notebook. He’s naturally curious, dammit. 

He opens the front cover. 

It’s Heinz’s sketchbook. Drawings fill page after page, and Perry flips through it. 

The drawings are just as varied as Heinz is. Flowers and birds. Sketches of inventions. Landscapes. A few of them are colored, most of them aren’t. 

Each one has a date attached to it, right underneath Heinz’s loopy initials.

Perry flips through the book, slowly moving closer and closer to the present. 

As he flips forwards, more of the drawings become colored. Some of them are simple still lives, some seem to have metaphorical meanings. 

Perry doesn’t know how much time he has left, so he flips all the way to the last entry in the book. Heinz is probably working on something amazing while he’s cooped up in the testing room. 

The sketch is only half-colored, so it takes Perry a moment to realize what it is. 

When he does, he gasps softly, almost dropping the notebook.

It’s Perry, teaching a class. He’s smiling and signing to a class paying rapt attention. The whole picture looks... happy.

Perry’s pretty sure Heinz has never seen him teach, but the drawing looks right. 

There are emotions running around in his brain right now, but he can’t name a single one. Honestly, he doesn’t know how to describe it, just that his heart feels full. 

_ Verdammt _ , he’s in love.

(And apparently adopting more German phrases than he’d care to admit.)

He whips out his phone and takes a couple pictures, for no particular reason, then closes the sketchbook. 

A few seconds later, Heinz rounds the corner. Perry hands him his notebook back. 

“Thanks,” he says. He checks his watch. “I have to go round up my charges. See you later?”

_ See you later.  _

The rotunda is empty within a minute, the only noise being the quiet hum of the HVAC. 

_ Genius. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What they say the categories for the preACT are:
> 
>   * English 
>   * Math 
>   * Reading 
>   * Science 
> 

> 
> What they actually are:
> 
>   * Reading 
>   * Math 
>   * Reading 
>   * Reading (Now With Graphs!) 
> 

> 
> Also, cardinal rule of artistry, don't look at another person's sketch book. It's not cool.


	7. Out

It had started, as all horrible days tend to, with accidental oversleeping. Perry had forgotten to plug his phone in overnight, and it was sitting dead on the bedside table. 

Only the sun had woken him up, and barely in time.   


He had merely groaned and thrown his power brick in his bag. Hopefully, that would give him enough battery to get through the day.

On an impulse, he had pinned his pride flag pin to the left side of his collar on his way out the door. 

Perry had skipped breakfast on his way out the door, just to get to school by seven thirty for a language department meeting. He hadn’t even had time to stop by his classroom first. (If he had, he would have noticed a custodian hastily painting his door black with paint borrowed from the theatre department.)

At that meeting, nobody had met his eye. He had waved hello, but nobody acknowledged him. 

Perry had thought it was odd. Maybe it was just the helmet, he didn’t usually carry it around. 

The meeting was rather boring, as they tended to be. Just a general check-in, a few ideas for next year’s culture night thrown around. 

After the meeting, Perry puts his notes away in his bag and stands to leave. 

Just before he reaches the door, one of the French teachers calls his name.  “Mr--Perry, hang on.”

Perry turns around. The teacher, Ms. Arquette, wrings her hands. 

“Just know that we all support you, no matter what.”

Perry raises an eyebrow. What does she mean? Is this why they’ve all been so awkward this morning? He fishes out his notepad and writes out a sentence.  _ What’s going on? _

He hands the notepad to Ms. Arquette. She reads it, a look of horror coming over her face. 

“You--you don’t know?” She hands the notepad back.

Perry shakes his head, then writes again.  _ Is there something I should know? _

One of the Spanish teachers speaks up. “Check your email. Before you go to your classroom.”

Perry pulls out his phone and powers it on. 

A flood of notifications greet him. He dismisses them all with a couple taps, then opens his inbox. 

Hundreds. Hundreds of new emails. His eyes widen. He scrolls back to last night. He had been at Sunday dinner with Lawrence and the lot, then tucked in early. 

Apparently, today is both the best and worst day out of the entire year to wear his pride pin, being that he  _ slept through his entire outing _ .

Perry has never kept his sexuality a secret. He figures that he’ll tell whoever matters himself, and everybody else can just figure it out. 

So a student from one of his classes had found a picture of Perry with an ex, and sent it straight to the gossip instagram. 

From there, it apparently spread like wildfire. 

That’s the thing about wildfire. It doesn’t just spread, it destroys. From the instagram (where another hundred or so people had tagged him in various comments), it found its way all over various social media.

(Perry likes the Danville High GSA’s instagram post about it.)

Of course, the rumor mill doesn’t just spread rumors. It exaggerates them. From what he can tell, rumors are flying at lightspeed about him. Most of them being about which teacher he’s with. 

Is it a good thing or a bad thing that nobody has suspected Doofenshmirtz as being his potential partner? 

And then somebody had spray-painted a slur on his classroom door. 

Then parents started getting involved. 

Which led to the very awkward position of Perry,  _ with a pride pin still on his collar _ , staring at his war zone of an inbox. 

The first bell rings. Perry writes out a quick  _ thank you _ , then leaves, mind still awhirl. 

His door has been quickly painted black over the offending word. A quick sign scrawled on copy paper declares the paint as still wet. 

Perry unlocks the door and props it open so the paint faces the wall. Best not to invite more disaster. He flips on the lights, relieved to see nothing wrong within the classroom. 

He tucks his helmet in its spot under his desk and pulls his laptop out of his bag. At least he managed to plug that in last night. He connects it to the projector cable and opens it up. 

Thank god for fifth block prep. He can attempt to tame his inbox, talk to administration about the paint incident, and hopefully figure out what exactly happened last night.

Before he dives into this mess, he writes out a new tip of the day. 

_ Tip of the Day: Think before you post. _

* * *

By the time seventh block is over, Perry is mentally exhausted. His phone has been ringing off the hook all day from parents calling. (He lets them all go to voicemail. It’s not like he can talk to them anyway.) WJOP Danville interrupts his sixth block class to hold an interview and film part of his class. He’s going to be involved in almost a dozen meetings in the next four days.

Not to mention he completely forgot about the Band-O-Gram fundraiser, so he’s had musicians interrupting his class all day as well. If he hears another squeaky rendition of All Star, he’s gonna scream. 

Metaphorically. He can’t, y’know,  _ actually  _ scream. 

Walking into room 318 feels like coming home. Heinz waves from his desk, and Perry sits in his usual spot across from him.

“How are you holding up?” 

Perry sighs.  _ Not good. _

“Yeah, this whole thing has been weird. I mean, at least you found out last night, you were tagged right away in that photo on the gossip page.”

Perry looks up from his PB&J.  _ Actually, my phone died while I was out at my brother’s place, and I forgot to plug it in overnight. I didn’t even know until almost the first bell.  _

“ _ Verdammt _ , that must have been awful.” Perry nods. It was. ”I saw WJOP in the halls earlier, did they interview you?”

Perry laughs in his silent way.  _ Pulled me right out of my sixth block class. The first question the lady asked me, she held out her mic for me to answer. The look on her face when I started signing was hilarious. _

Heinz laughs. “Were they live, or just taping?”

_ They were live, which made it about ten times more awkward. She fixed her mistake pretty quickly.  _

“You’re probably going to be a big story on the news tonight. Have you told your family?”

_ I should do that, shouldn’t I. Hang on, I’m going to text them. _

Perry pulls out his phone and sends what he knows about the situation to Linda and Lawrence. Heinz watches and waits patiently, 

Once he’s done, Perry puts his phone back in his pocket and leans back.  _ Say, thanks for recording my voicemail message. My phone’s been ringing off the hook all morning. I have a feeling I’m going to get a lot of irate emails demanding to know why I don’t answer the phone. _

“I’d pay to see their faces when you send one of your famed sarcasm emails.”

_ My sarcastic emails are famous? _

“They’re honestly a breath of fresh air. That one you did about the reply-all was my favorite.”

_ One of my best works.  _

“Clearly. Say, what did they do to your door?”

_ Painted over it. Looks terrible. _

“Are you going to get a new door?”   


_ They say after spring break. Apparently, they don’t just keep spare doors laying around. Until then, I’m stuck with a door that has a big black patch on it.  _

“Well, you know, I used to be an artist way back when. I wonder if we could make it look better? I know dance is hosting a competition here on Saturday, so the school will be open and we could work...I mean, if you want to.”

Perry remembers what he saw in Heinz’s sketchbook. The man is an incredible artist.  _ That would be great. What will we need? _

Ten minutes later, Perry leaves Heinz’s classroom in a much better mood. 

Today may have been pretty bad, but there’s always bright spots. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point, Vanessa and Candace have figured out what's going on, and are conspiring to get them together.


	8. The End of a School Year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea if this is actually how finals work (I'm basing this mostly off my own high school) since I'm a freshie and school got straight up yeeted for the year because some guy ate a bat last November

Perry pulls into the parking lot even earlier than usual. It’s finals week, so he’s holding a study session before school. 

He hasn't seen Heinz in almost a week. The poor man has had grading on top of grading, and has been holding study sessions for his students whenever he can besides. 

Part of Perry is glad that ASL doesn’t exactly lend itself to paper and pencil work. 

(The other part of him really wishes he were able to assign more consistent homework. Despite what students might think, it is a vital tool.)

Perry walks into the school. He can hear the faint sounds of trumpet coming from the music hall- he recalls seeing notices for the jazz band audition today. 

As he walks down the hall, he notices that there are a lot more students here than usual. They’re studying in clumps, clustered around textbooks and homework assignments. 

It seems as though finals fever has caught everyone. There’s a staff meeting over lunch, something about finalizing the schedule. Perry doesn’t know what there  _ is _ to finalize- the schedule hasn’t changed in years. 

The seniors have taken their finals already and have left the school. Everyone else will take finals for their third and fourth block class tomorrow, finals for blocks five through eight on Thursday, and blocks one and two on Friday. 

The final bell will ring, and at 11:15 AM on Friday, the students will be released until next September. 

Perry won’t see Heinz again until September. Unless he does something drastic, like ask him to the schools-out party his nephews are throwing. 

He’s thinking about it. Linda has been hounding him to bring his ‘good friend’ Heinz over to meet the family, and Candace won’t stop teasing him about his “obvious crush on someone”. 

Perry unlocks his classroom and begins setting up for the day. Maybe he’ll run into Heinz when he goes to check his mailbox. 

_ Tip of the Day: Sign language is crazy versatille- it even works underwater! _

* * *

Perry sits in his classroom, inputting grades from today’s finals on his laptop. The window is propped open, and the breeze is blowing. School is over for the day, which means only a half day is left in the entire year. 

Bit crazy, really. It feels like only yesterday that it was the first day of school, and he was wondering who to eat lunch with. 

Now, he can’t imagine eating with anybody other than Heinz. It’s sort of...their thing. 

What a year it’s been. It’s had its ups and downs, most notably the March fiasco, but it’s been a great time.

A knock on the doorframe startles him out of his reverie. He looks up. 

Speak of the devil. Heinz is leaning against the door frame. Perry smiles.

_ Hello there,  _ Perry signs.  _ To what do I owe the pleasure of your company? _

Heinz grins. “I just wanted to come see you.” Perry blushes. “Can I sit with you?”

Perry gestures towards the chair in front of his desk.  _ Go ahead.  _

Heinz reads the sign taped to the back-The Hot Seat- and chuckles. “The hot seat, huh? Are you going to test me?”

Perry smirks.  _ Probably not. _

“Probably not, hmm? I like those chances.” Heinz sits down. “Actually, there was something I wanted to ask you.”

Perry quickly saves the grades he’s working on, then shuts his laptop.  _ Go ahead.  _

“I was wondering, well, would you want to go to dinner with me on Saturday night?” Heinz’s face flushes red.

Perry’s heart leaps. It’s time to take a chance.  _ As a date? _

“Well, um, I was hoping so? I mean, it doesn’t have to be if you don’t want that, I just...” He trails off.

_ Yes. _

“Yes? Oh, wow. Wait, was that a yes to the date, or a yes to I’d rather not date or-”

Perry half-rises out of his seat to grab the lapels of Heinz’s lab coat and crash their lips together, effectively silencing the man.

Their glasses click together, Heinz’s nose is completely in the way, and Perry almost falls forwards over his desk, but it’s still the best first kiss he’s ever had. 

They separate, cheeks flushed bright red, stupid grins on their faces. Perry sits back down, his heart beating hard and breath coming fast.

_ Does that answer your question?  _

(Vanessa and Candace, totally not watching from the doorway, share a fistbump.) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we are done! Look at that, they're finally together. This was fun to write :D. Thanks for sticking around, y'all!


	9. Bonus Content

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Candace is pretty sure her uncle Perry has feelings for someone, but he won't tell her. 
> 
> Vanessa is pretty sure her dad has feelings for someone, but he won't tell her either. 
> 
> It was only a matter of time before they found each other...and realized what's going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Perryverse is slow going right now (but hopefully going to update tomorrow) so have some bonus teacher!au content where Candace and Vanessa figure out what's going on

It was late March when Candace finally put two and two together. 

Her uncle had been outed a couple weeks ago (boy was that interesting, although by the time lunch hit, the gossip mill had moved on). The end of third quarter loomed ever closer. The auditions for the spring musical had finished and she got cast as one of the supporting roles. 

Unfortunately, being part of the musical means she doesn't have much time to do her homework. And this one question on the bio test prep sheet has everyone she knows stumped. The numbers for the genetic-probability section just refuse to work out.

So as the bravest person at her lunch table, she volunteered to go ask Mr. Doofenshmirtz about it.

Thankfully, it's second lunch, so he should have some time to explain. Then she can go back and explain to everyone else before class. 

This brings Candace to where she is right now. Walking through the halls of Danville High, still trying to figure out the one stupid problem.

The stench of formaldehyde is strong in the empty lower science hall. Candace vaguely remembers seeing a dissection notice for the IB class on Mr. Doofenshmirtz's whiteboard. Boy, she's glad she doesn't have to do _that_ today. 

Someone else, a girl dressed in all black, is standing outside room 318. She also holds a single sheet of paper. Candace grins. She recognizes her, this is Vanessa. The girl who got the lead in the musical. She's certainly got the voice for it. 

"Hey Vanessa," Candace says. 

"Oh, hey Candace," the other girl replies. "What are you doing here?"

"I need to ask Mr. Doofenshmirtz a bio question," Candace says, holding up her worksheet. "What about you?"

"I had an ASL question for Mr. Fletcher."

"Hey, I might be able to help you with that. I'm his niece, so I've known ASL since I was like six."

"Oh, that's cool."

Candace grins. Vanessa thinks she's cool! 

"Wait," Candace says, "if you want to ask Perry something, then why are you down here? Isn't his classroom on the second floor?"

"Yeah," Vanessa nods, "in the upper language hall. But apparently he eats lunch with my dad."

For a brief second, Candace is confused before she connects the dots. Vanessa Doofenshmirtz is Mr. Doofenshmirtz's daughter, the one he always talks about. Of course. It's honestly kind of obvious- how many people have that last name?

"So what are you down here for?" Vanessa asks. 

"We can't figure out this one question on the test prep sheet," Candace says, pointing to the part of the worksheet in question. 

Vanessa takes the sheet. "You're supposed to use the answer from question seven, not seventeen. My dad was falling asleep when he made this one, so there's a few typos."

Candace laughs, taking the page back. Now that she looks back, that makes a _lot_ more sense. 

"Hey, thanks," she says. 

"No problem," Vanessa replies. "Do you think you can help me?"

Candace takes the page Vanessa hands her. The questions are easy, nothing she doesn't know. "Oh, I know this one," she says. She looks up to see Vanessa looking into the window on the door. "Vanessa?"

Vanessa turns back to Candace. "You gotta see this," she says, moving away from the door. 

Candace peers into the window. Through the glass and wire, she can see Uncle Perry sitting in the chair on the opposite side of Mr. Doofenshmirtz's desk, facing away from the door. He signs something that Candace can't quite make out. Both of them laugh, so it must have been some sort of joke. 

They stop laughing at nearly the same time, both of them staring into each other's eyes. 

Huh.

Uncle Perry never _said_ he was dating anyone. 

"How long have they been dating?" Candace asks Vanessa. "Perry never talks about his romantic life, so I know almost nothing."

"Uh, I don't think they're dating," Vanessa says. "See, they're kind of looking away from each other now." 

Candace looks back into the window. Yes, there they are, now refusing to meet each other's eyes. Uncle Perry's fiddling with his sleeve in the same way he does when he's nervous or embarrassed. 

"I think you're right," Candace says, turning back to Vanessa. "The only question is why not?"

"I know, right?" Vanessa asks. "It was even worse before you got here."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. I actually came by yesterday, and it was the same thing. They're so far gone for each other."

"Clearly," Candace says as she looks back to the window. Mr. Doofenshmirtz is saying something she can't quite make out, uncle Perry has his right hand resting against Mr. Doofenshmirtz's left. 

"We have to get them together," Candace says. 

"Glad to hear we're on the same page," Vanessa says, and Candace grins. "Here, hand me your phone."

Candace does, typing in her passcode. Vanessa presses a few things, then hands it back. "There, now you have my number. You can tell me if there's any developments on your side."

"I'll do that," Candace says, accepting her phone back. She already knows exactly what she can ask him on Sunday to get some answers. Even if he doesn't exactly tell her, his body language gives everything away.

"It's good to know you're on my side," Vanessa says.

"Us against their obliviousness," Candace laughs. "You think we can get them together by the end of the year?"

"We can try," Vanessa says. "We can certainly try. Hey, I'll see you at rehearsal later."

"See you later," Candace says, and Vanessa leaves.

Well, look at that. Looks like uncle Perry _does_ have someone he likes. Now Candace knows, Vanessa knows, and they're on a mission.

And _nothing_ stops Candace on a mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really didn't expect to write this but oh well.

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me on tumblr [here!](https://addicted-to-percussion.tumblr.com/)
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are very much appreciated!


End file.
